Not every couple who separates does so in the same way. Economic situations, family situations, and personal preferences all come into play. For those that maybe cannot financially afford to separate in the traditional way, have children and do not want to be away from them, or want to try and use separation to repair their marriage, an in-house separation might serve better than an out-of-house one. What is this type of separation, exactly, and how can you make it work? The following provides some tips.
What is an In-House Separation?
At its core, in-house separation is pretty much what it sounds like: a couple “separates” while still living in the same home. Some have one living in the bedroom and the other in the attic. Others simply section off a part of the house. The point is that you each have your own space that is separate from one another. Of course, because you are still in the same home, there are many ways for this type of separation to go awry. Further, it can be a little confusing to children, if you have them. As such, it is important to have some strategies for making it work.
Clear Definitions and Boundaries Are Critical
When you are in the same home, and you see one another each day, it is critical that you have clear definitions and boundaries in place. What will your relationship look like? Will you live like roommates who split finances accordingly, or are you going to continue the way things are, just without the intimacy and contact of a marriage? How will you interact with the children? Will there be separate duties, just as if you were in separate houses, or will you still convene for family time? How about dating? House duties? Transportation? All of this – and more – should be considered.
Reconvene, Redefine, and Recalibrate
No matter how fail-proof your plan might seem, things will change. They will need to be recalibrated. Experts on in-house separation and marriage suggest that couples reconvene at regular intervals (a time that you predetermine at the start of the separation and each meeting) to discuss issues and concerns. You should have a plan for moving forward and decide if you are still in the same place you were at the start. For example, if you wanted to move toward reconciliation at the start, do you still want that, or are your feelings starting to change?
If Divorce Is the Next Logical Step
If you are in the process of trying an in-house separation and have determined the divorce is the next logical step, Mevorah Law Offices LLC can help. We can work with you on negotiations, parenting plans, and even litigation, if you so choose. Backed by more than 200 years of combined experience, we offer personalized services for every divorce situation. Get started by scheduling a free consultation with our DuPage County divorce lawyers. Call 630-932-9100 today.
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