The Chicago Tribune is reporting that a staggering 94 percent of married couples claim to be “happy” or “very happy” in their marriages, according to a poll commissioned by Thomson Reuters. The poll questioned over 1700 married or cohabiting American adults. While on the surface this poll belies the 45 percent divorce rate in America, experts are quick to advise that these results be taken with a grain of salt.
“Direct observation and analysis of the interactions is the way to really learn what’s going on in a relationship,” said certified couples’ therapist Donald Cole of the Gottman Institute. Cole did say of the poll that the statistics gleaned are “a good starting point.”
The poll shows that arguments between married couples are frequent, but that a majority of those polled report having “heated arguments” less than monthly or never. This reflects a growing understanding amongst couples’ therapists that attempts to solve problems are often counterproductive. Carrie Cole, a certified therapist, said that “[r]esearch shows only 31 percent of our problems are solvable; 69 percent are perpetual.” This means that acceptance of differences may be better for the health of the relationship than trying to solve every problem. “Problem-solving is highly overrated,” said Donald Cole who, incidentally, is married to Carrie Cole.
Simply because many problems are best left unsolved does not mean that communication is somehow less important. In fact, 95 percent of men and 97 percent of women considered good communication important to the relationship. Further evidence of the importance of good communication is presented by a study conducted by Terri Orbuch, professor of sociology at Oakland University in Michigan. Entitled “The Early Years of Marriage Project,” Professor Orbuch has studied nearly 400 couples for 27 years. Amongst what she has found is that small acknowledgements of each other, such as small affirmations of love and respect, contributed to the overall health and longevity of marriage.
DuPage County Family Law Attorneys
Many marriages begin pristine, and the marrieds report that they are exceedingly happy. Many marriages also endure beyond this so-called “honeymoon period.” However, happiness early in a marriage, or at any stage of a marriage, is not necessarily predictive of whether the marriage will avoid divorce. Many marriages end. In the event of divorce, you need someone who is compassionate and experienced. If you are contemplating divorce, contact the Mevorah Law Offices, LLC at 630-932-9100.
Whether you are going through a divorce, injured in an accident, need to file a workers' compensation claim, charged with a crime, immigrating to the United States, or need to file for bankruptcy, Mevorah Law Offices LLC can help. Our trial lawyers have over 40 years of experience helping clients throughout Northern Illinois from five offices in Lombard, Bloomindale, Naperville, St. Charles, and Chicago.
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