Blog posts tagged in divorce
A vast number of studies and a seemingly endless sea of family psychology experts assert that money is one of the biggest points of conflict in marriages, and it is often a root cause of divorce. Experts say that if you are not careful, financial difficulties throughout the course of your relationship can ultimately lead to the end of your marriage, and these difficulties have the power to severely divide a couple and bring forth residual waves of resentment that linger long after the marriage is over.
Financial Troubles That Often Cause Divorce
A resounding opinion from many marriage experts is that the key is that spouses should assess and discuss each other’s attitude about money in the very beginning stages of a relationship, in order to prevent bigger problems down the road. For some couples, however, it is too late for that initial discussion, and they are forced to deal with the damage after it happens. Whether you are in the beginning stages of your marriage and wish to avoid money-related drama down the road or have been married for years and are just now realizing the major financial flaws in your relationship, chances are one of the following common financial areas is responsible for the conflict:
Wedding extravagance - Unless they have thousands and thousands of dollars to spend on a wedding budget, it is likely that a couple will feel the sting (and pressure) of hefty wedding expenses. Couples who end up having money problems throughout their union often see signs of trouble at the very beginning, during their wedding planning stages. One spouse may choose to spend a large sum on the reception, while the other would prefer to spend that amount on a down payment on a new home as newlyweds. Differing views on the wedding budget can cause a major rift in a marriage, especially if there is a lack of communication, or one spouse has a disregard for the other partner’s concerns....
Predicting the types of conflicts you may experience throughout your divorce process can be difficult, if not impossible. Sometimes, you do not know trouble is brewing until a particular issue is discussed and suddenly spawns an argument that seems unmanageable. Many couples experience nothing but smooth sailing during the first stages of divorce, only to find later that buried tensions have morphed into a series of toxic interactions. Whether you have been fortunate enough to have an amicable separation thus far or are dealing with a contentious divorce, exploring mediation as a tool to help achieve a peaceful dissolution of marriage can be beneficial for both parties.
Conflicts That Can Be Better Resolved With Mediation
Divorce stirs up an array of emotions for everyone involved, often triggering irrational exchanges and heated responses between both parties. If tension starts to build or conversations cannot be conducted civilly, mediation may be the best resolution. Utilizing a trained professional to negotiate the terms of your divorce can help reduce stress, allowing you to reach an agreement that both parties can be satisfied with. Some common points of dispute that can be resolved with the help of a mediator include:
Parenting plan disagreements - The purpose of a parenting plan in the state of Illinois is to allocate specific parental responsibilities to each parent, so that both parties have a clear understanding of their role in the child’s life. Although a parenting plan serves to protect the best interests of the child, creating one can be tricky. Disagreements about important issues, such as parenting time (visitation), education, healthcare, and religious beliefs, can be resolved through mediation....
If you share children with your spouse and have made the choice to divorce, one of the most important legal decisions you and your partner will have to make is which guidelines to include in your parenting plan. Under Illinois law, a parenting plan is a written agreement that designates certain decision-making responsibilities to each parent, outlining specific parameters that provide structure as to how children should be raised. Parenting plans also govern parenting time (visitation), which is a crucial piece of your family’s new structure following the divorce.
Responsibilities to be Discussed When Creating a Parenting Plan
With so many points to cover in your new parental dynamic, the details can be overwhelming to sort out, especially if there is tension between you and the other parent. If you are unsure of where to begin or what will be expected of you as a divorcing parent, familiarizing yourself with the responsibilities that will be allocated can help you organize your thoughts and concerns. Here are some foundational caretaking functions that will be addressed in a parenting plan:
Daily routines - Your children’s daily routines must be maintained, including bedtime and wake-up time, general hygiene practices, and mealtimes. In addition, children must be supervised at all times....
As you begin to navigate the divorce process, the tasks you must face can seem daunting. It is natural to feel overwhelmed by what likely seems to be a never-ending to-do list, but the upside to this challenge is that the more organized you are, the more you improve your chances of experiencing a smoother, less stressful divorce from start to finish. If you and your spouse share children, topics such as the allocation of parental responsibilities (child custody) and parenting time (visitation) can be especially taxing as you organize the next chapter of your lives, as these topics tend to be highly emotional for both parties. However, a thorough parenting plan will help better facilitate your post-divorce parenting arrangements and ultimately support your child’s best interests.
The Minimum Requirements for Your Parenting Plan
A parenting plan in the state of Illinois is, in essence, an outline of each parent’s responsibilities included in your divorce decree. It acts as a rulebook with clear guidelines for both parents, so each party knows what is expected of them moving forward. To ensure your arrangements are as efficient as possible and serve to protect the well-being of your children after the separation, it is important that your plan covers all the basics. Your attorney will assist in negotiating the terms and can help direct and advise you in the revision of any details or areas that need to be addressed, but every parenting plan should at least touch on the following three issues:
The moment the divorce process is set into motion, separating spouses are inundated with challenges and are forced to address a number of different conflicts. Whether the decision to end your marriage was mutual or rife with tension, a variety of issues can arise, requiring both parties to work together to find solutions. Discussions about everything from the division of assets and spousal maintenance to child support are all topics that can quickly turn an amicable split into a contentious one. While not every divorce involves heated debates and bitter court battles, even couples whose interactions are civil and respectful may run into roadblocks as they navigate the divorce process. However, there are alternative dispute resolution methods that achieve the same goal of legally ending a marriage.
How to Know When it Is Time to Consider Mediation
Divorce mediation is a path that allows both parties to work with a neutral third party who is specifically trained to handle conflict resolution. A mediator is equipped to address concerns over legal matters while working with a couple to find a solution that meets the needs of each party. How do you know when you are in over your head with the divorce process? At would point should couples seek out mediation to resolve ongoing conflicts? Experts suggest there are multiple indicators that signal your need for help from a third party. Here are some signs that your divorce case may benefit from some support to help move things in the right direction: