Warning Signs of Divorce

In what may be contrary to conventional wisdom, Psychology Today points to the fact that wives initiate 75 percent of divorces. “The non-initiating spouse may be close behind and may quickly agree that divorce is the best option,” reports Psychology Today, “or he may be resistant, arguing that the marriage can be salvaged if only they try one more time and a little harder.” Whether the decision to divorce is mutual or not greatly affects the outcome of the divorce, and can determine what kind of divorce it’s going to be. Divorces that were mutual decisions, or at least in which one party wasn’t blindsided by the news, are likely to be much more amicable than those in which one party realized the desire for a divorce independently. As Sam Marguiles, writing for Psychology Today, puts it: “marriages don’t break; they erode over time.” Recognizing the warning signs of divorce can help to make a divorce more amicable.

There are six signals, according to Marguiles, that can point to an upcoming divorce. Some are more obvious than others—but each should be watched for and noted as a reason for a potential split. Whether you’re the spouse initiating the divorce or accepting it, these warnings signs are good to keep in mind.

1. The first is that conflicts, or arguments (be they big or small) don’t get resolved. According to Psychology Today, “couples who have not evolved a way to resolved differences without injury to the relationship end up avoiding disagreement or conflict.”
2. Unresolved conflict can lead to emotional disengagement (the second signal of divorce).
3. Another signal of divorce is disaffection—the withdrawal of affection or physical love, such as sex.
4. Lack of sex is the fourth signal of divorce.
5. The last two signs of impending divorce deal with life outside the marriage: increased focus on children, career, or friendships;
6. and a preparation for a single life. “Particularly with women who have stayed home,” Marguiles writes, “we often see a new interest in refreshing or acquiring a career to be less dependent on the earnings of the husband.”

Once these warning signs start becoming prevalent in a relationship—whether you’re perpetuating them or not—it’s important to contact a family law attorney. Speaking with a qualified professional can be done whether or not divorce becomes a reality, and both parties should seek counsel independently before considering divorce in real terms. Don’t go through it alone. Contact a dedicated Chicago-area divorce attorney today.