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630-932-9100
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DuPage County Attorneys

LOMBARD

900 E. Roosevelt Road, Lombard, IL 60148

Phone: 630-932-9100

BLOOMINGDALE

134 N. Bloomingdale Road, Bloomingdale, IL 60108

Phone: 630-529-4761

CHICAGO

105 W. Madison Street, Suite 2200, Chicago, IL 60602

Phone: 630-932-9100

NAPERVILLE

1730 Park Street, Suite 202, Naperville, IL 60563

Phone: 630-420-1000

Family Law

b2ap3_thumbnail_shutterstock_750040453.jpgDivorce is often viewed as a tumultuous process, but this is not always the case. In fact, some couples still value their bond and prefer to end things peacefully. Others recognize that fighting increases the financial and emotional costs for everyone involved. In these situations, parties may opt to pursue alternative dispute resolution over a litigated divorce. However, this path may not be right for every couple, and litigation may be the only way to successfully finalize a divorce.

Mediation or Litigation?

If you are considering using mediation during your divorce, it is important to know that victims of any form of abuse (mental, physical, or financial) are generally encouraged to lean towards litigation instead, as it tends to offer greater protection throughout the divorce process. Litigation is also preferred when there is suspicion of hidden assets. However, contention or disputes between the parties do not mean that a couple cannot pursue alternative dispute resolution; if anything, this particular divorce path may offer some benefits for couples, as long as both parties are at willing to bring their concerns and disagreements to the table in a civil manner. Both parties are encouraged to work together and reach a compromise on sensitive matters, like the division of assets and the creation of a parenting plan. The goal is to make sure that each party walks away with at least some of what they want and a fair portion of what they deserve.

Points to Consider When Determining Whether Mediation Is the Right Solution for Your Divorce

You should ask yourself the following questions when trying to determine which path is best for you:

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DuPage County child custody attorney

The American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry (AACAP) reports that one out of every two marriages ends in divorce. Married couples hear these kinds of statistics often, but the challenges for divorcing parents do not truly become a reality until their marriage becomes a part of this statistic. For parents experiencing a high-conflict divorce, these challenges can be detrimental to the whole family, especially to the children.

How to Help Your Children During Divorce

The very nature of divorce makes the process difficult for everyone involved. Even the most amicable, peaceful separations can dig up many mixed emotions for the family. Much like other losses in life, divorce grief usually unravels in layers over time. Just when you think you may be out of the woods and on the road to healing, a simple memory or argument can trigger an emotional setback. Children who witness episodes of high conflict between their parents during their separation tend to suffer the most, but there are steps parents can take to lessen these negative effects, including:

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Bloomingdale divorce lawyerWhether you find yourself in the early stages of the divorce process, have just recently made the mutual decision with your spouse to end your marriage, or are in the middle of litigation proceedings, divorce-related stress can be all-consuming. The difficult decision to say goodbye to your marriage can quickly take a toll on you emotionally, mentally, and even physically. Familiarizing yourself with healthy, constructive coping skills is crucial to manage divorce stress and keep it from negatively affecting your health in both the short and long term.

Key Coping Skills for Managing Stress

Even couples who divorce amicably and civilly must work at balancing the emotional effects of such a big life change. Keep the following tips in mind to better cope with common divorce anxieties:

  1. Put yourself first - Chances are, you have heard self-help experts stress the value and importance of self-care during times of major life changes, including divorce. These recommendations exist for a reason — they work. Mental health experts remind us that maintaining our routines as much as possible is actually a part of self-care, particularly when it comes to maintaining daily exercise, sleep patterns, or lunch dates with friends. Another way to make self-care a priority is to give yourself permission to take breaks, invest your time and energy in activities that bring you joy, and share your time with others, such as involving yourself in a volunteer effort.

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Lombard divorce attorneyFor those going through a divorce, the process of ending a marriage can all too often create a sense of tunnel vision. Due to the mental strain and the waves of emotion that come with this major life change, people tend to focus only on the immediate needs in front of them during such a time, like making it through the legal paperwork or court proceedings. Other priorities may also capture a person's attention in the midst of handling the technical details, from creating parenting plans and making new living arrangements to possibly relocating.

The Decision to Get a Divorce Is Only the Beginning

From the moment you and your spouse decide to end your relationship, the task of pursuing a divorce can be overwhelming, even when the decision is an amicable one. Sadly, calling it quits is just the beginning when it comes to moving forward. Once you make it through the actual divorce process, rebuilding your life piece by piece is a challenge, but it can also be an opportunity for positive growth and healthy changes. The key is to strategize and put a game plan in place for yourself so that you have a sense of direction and clarity following the end of your marriage.

Creating a Game Plan

You can prepare for a happy, healthy life after your divorce by starting with these four steps:

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DuPage County divorce lawyerFamily therapists everywhere have a number of differing views on the effects of divorce, but one truth they collectively agree on is that the experience is both complex and unique for everyone. Some spouses experience a roller coaster of highs and lows or episodes of intense emotional trauma, while others feel a great sense of relief and waves of elation as they rediscover and reclaim the identity they feel they lost throughout their marriage. Wherever you fall on the emotional scale of divorce, one thing is certain: the journey is a complicated emotional process, and its aftermath will inevitably take a toll on you to some degree.

Various Layers of Loss

It is natural to have limited ability to predict and look ahead at your life post-divorce. It can be very difficult to anticipate how the changes that come with the end of your marriage will make you feel or what they will look like until you are actually facing them head-on. While not everyone experiences a negative, turbulent divorce, even those who undergo a mutual, peaceful split still come face-to-face with forms of grief they may have not considered in the early stages of the separation. You may underestimate the magnitude of the following losses after your divorce because you simply cannot fully prepare for the results:

  1. Loss of mutual friends and shared social structures - Changes in your social circles and within your immediate and extended family may begin to happen even before your divorce is finalized. Mutual friends of you and your spouse, as well as close family members, often feel they must take sides or stay out of your business, which can sometimes lead to the complete severing of a relationship you once valued. This can be especially devastating if you have worked hard to cultivate special friendships over a long period of time. One way to address this is to talk to your shared friends during the divorce process, and if possible, discuss the topic with your spouse, so you can all work together to create a game plan that allows everyone to remain involved without animosity or awkwardness moving forward.

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One Stop For All Your Legal Needs

Whether you are going through a divorce, injured in an accident, need to file a workers' compensation claim, charged with a crime, immigrating to the United States, or need to file for bankruptcy, Mevorah Law Offices LLC can help. Our trial lawyers have over 40 years of experience helping clients throughout Northern Illinois from four offices in Lombard, Bloomindale, Naperville, St. Charles, and Chicago.

Steven Mevorah has assembled experienced attorneys under one roof so that his clients need not search for a new attorney each time they need help. Mr. Mevorah has also established a wide network of additional attorneys so that his clients merely need to stop by Mevorah Law Offices LLC to find the attorney they need.

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