Every divorce needs to be treated differently due to the individual circumstances in each case. However, there are some common elements that will typically need to be taken care of during the divorce process, including child custody, division of assets, and spousal maintenance (alimony). Maintenance consists of financial support that one spouse pays to the other to make sure they are able to support themselves after the divorce. If you are close to retirement age and are considering initiating divorce proceedings, you may be wondering what will happen if you are ordered to pay maintenance and decide to retire soon after.

Possible Outcomes

If you decide to retire and are still paying maintenance to your ex-spouse, there are a few different outcomes that could occur. Illinois law states that you may be able to receive a reduction or stoppage of your maintenance obligation if you are able to show that you have had a “substantial change in circumstances” making you unable to pay the maintenance. The decision to retire is often not enough for a judge to order a complete termination of maintenance payments, but it may be enough for a reduction of the amount of payments. The decision will depend on how severe the reduction in the payer’s income is after retirement. Retirement is not the only factor that a judge will look at to determine if the maintenance payments should be changed, but it does fall under the “substantial change in circumstances” umbrella. 

Termination of maintenance is usually only granted if the person being paid gets married again or if the retirement of the payor reduces their income to the point where any payments towards maintenance would cause them to fall under the poverty line. Usually, a change such as reduction or termination is not granted immediately. Instead, the payments may be reduced for a year, and then reduced further during another period of time, after which they may stop. This method lets everyone plan for the changes in income ahead of time and make the arrangements necessary to ensure that their ongoing needs will be met. 

Adopting a child can be a lengthy process, and for good reason. It is necessary for the proper due diligence to be taken by all parties to make sure the adoption is the right fit. It is helpful to do all the research you can before adopting a baby so you can be adequately prepared. 

Fun Ways to Prepare

• Get the baby’s bedroom ready - While you are waiting for the adoption process to be finalized, you can prepare the baby’s bedroom for them to arrive. Decorating the room with wallpaper, painting a mural, or buying toys, a crib, a changing table, a swing, and any other things necessary for your baby may take some time, so be sure to give yourself enough preparation time for your new arrival. 
• Exercise or take up a hobby - If you feel stressed or anxious while waiting for your baby, you can take your mind off things by exercising or starting a hobby you have always wanted to try.
• Treat yourself and your spouse - Even though you are ready to have a child, you still need to remember your relationship and your own wellness. Once you have a child, more of your time will be devoted to them. Making the effort before you adopt the baby to spend time with your spouse and do things you both want to do will be beneficial to both of you. 

Practical Steps 

• Find a pediatrician - Make sure you know where your chosen pediatrician is located. Do some research, get recommendations from friends and family, or ask at the adoption agency to find the doctor who will be the best fit for you. 
• Research daycare facilities - If you are looking to return to work after adoption, make sure you have an idea of the options for daycare in the area. It is never too early to start looking for a daycare that you like, because some daycares have waiting lists. 
• Attend a new parent and/or CPR class - It does not hurt to get as much information as possible about being a parent beforehand, so it may be beneficial to attend a new parent class. In addition, learning about CPR and basic first aid may prevent a disaster from occurring. 

Contact a DuPage County Family Law Attorney

The adoption process can be stressful, but it does not have to be. The skilled and compassionate Lombard adoption lawyers at Mevorah Law Offices, LLC can provide you with the legal help you need during your adoption. We pledge to give you compassion and understanding while we assist you throughout the adoption process. For a free consultation, contact us at 630-932-9100.

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Marriages may sometimes end in divorce, and when they do, there are many adjustments to make for life after marriage. These adjustments often include your children and determining how to handle their lives after the marriage has ended, but before that process can start, you first need to tell them that you and their other parent are divorcing.

Letting your children know about an upcoming divorce is most likely going to be difficult. Children will have different reactions and many questions, so you need to be prepared when you tell them what is about to happen.

Tell Everyone Together First

If you have multiple children, you may want to tell each child individually to avoid a scene, or because you do not want to make it seem important. However, it is important, and studies have shown that it is a better idea to tell all the children at once. They will all be able to hear your answers and start to process the news with their siblings. If you feel one of your children will have too strong of a reaction, it may be beneficial to tell them individually. You can always follow up with the children individually, after you have told them together, to see how they are handling the news.

When a marriage ends, it can cause a significant amount of stress on both parties involved. The decision to ask for a divorce, the actual process of the divorce, and adjusting to your new life after the divorce can cause varying levels of stress. Stress can take over a person’s life if steps are not taken to mitigate it.

What Is Divorce Stress?

Most people have an idea of what stress is, but in order to help combat your stress, it is helpful to learn more about it as it relates to your divorce. Divorce stress usually involves two different types of stressors. There are the ones most people think about and know they will have to deal with in some form: who is going to move, losing what you are familiar with, paying bills, your children’s reaction, and starting over.

Then there are the stressors which are caused by what is unknown in your life because of the divorce: what kind of settlement you will have, the division of assets and debts, finding a job after the divorce, dealing with less money, being afraid of family reactions, etc. The combination of all these factors can cause a large amount of stress in somebody who is going through a divorce.

Romantic relationships can be amazing experiences filled with love and affection. They can also be filled with fights and abuse, whether that be physical or emotional. Physical abuse is often more easily seen, with bruises, scrapes, or broken bones. Emotional abuse is harder to view at a glance, so it may take some self-reflection to realize you are in an emotionally abusive relationship. Once you do, it is important that you take steps that protect your emotional wellbeing and mental health, such as leaving the relationship and getting a divorce. If you notice the following behaviors in your relationship, it may be an indication that your relationship is abusive.

They Rush You

In this context, “rushing” is used to mean the other person will try to push past the boundaries that you have set. They may try to move the relationship along faster than you wish and do not show any respect for your comfort. This type of behavior shows that they have a lack of respect for your boundaries and do not think you should be comfortable in the relationship.

Pettiness

If your significant other acts overly petty with great frequency, it can be a warning sign that they are inclined to emotionally abusive behavior. Pettiness can manifest itself by focusing far too much on something that does not merit as much attention as they are giving it and making you feel like you can not do anything right in your life. Repeated criticism and diminishing statements when you make the smallest mistakes is not a good sign.