Whether you find yourself in the early stages of the divorce process, have just recently made the mutual decision with your spouse to end your marriage, or are in the middle of litigation proceedings, divorce-related stress can be all-consuming. The difficult decision to say goodbye to your marriage can quickly take a toll on you emotionally, mentally, and even physically. Familiarizing yourself with healthy, constructive coping skills is crucial to manage divorce stress and keep it from negatively affecting your health in both the short and long term.

Key Coping Skills for Managing Stress

Even couples who divorce amicably and civilly must work at balancing the emotional effects of such a big life change. Keep the following tips in mind to better cope with common divorce anxieties:

1. Put yourself first - Chances are, you have heard self-help experts stress the value and importance of self-care during times of major life changes, including divorce. These recommendations exist for a reason — they work. Mental health experts remind us that maintaining our routines as much as possible is actually a part of self-care, particularly when it comes to maintaining daily exercise, sleep patterns, or lunch dates with friends. Another way to make self-care a priority is to give yourself permission to take breaks, invest your time and energy in activities that bring you joy, and share your time with others, such as involving yourself in a volunteer effort.

   ...

For those going through a divorce, the process of ending a marriage can all too often create a sense of tunnel vision. Due to the mental strain and the waves of emotion that come with this major life change, people tend to focus only on the immediate needs in front of them during such a time, like making it through the legal paperwork or court proceedings. Other priorities may also capture a person's attention in the midst of handling the technical details, from creating parenting plans and making new living arrangements to possibly relocating.

The Decision to Get a Divorce Is Only the Beginning

From the moment you and your spouse decide to end your relationship, the task of pursuing a divorce can be overwhelming, even when the decision is an amicable one. Sadly, calling it quits is just the beginning when it comes to moving forward. Once you make it through the actual divorce process, rebuilding your life piece by piece is a challenge, but it can also be an opportunity for positive growth and healthy changes. The key is to strategize and put a game plan in place for yourself so that you have a sense of direction and clarity following the end of your marriage.

Creating a Game Plan

You can prepare for a happy, healthy life after your divorce by starting with these four steps:

Family therapists everywhere have a number of differing views on the effects of divorce, but one truth they collectively agree on is that the experience is both complex and unique for everyone. Some spouses experience a roller coaster of highs and lows or episodes of intense emotional trauma, while others feel a great sense of relief and waves of elation as they rediscover and reclaim the identity they feel they lost throughout their marriage. Wherever you fall on the emotional scale of divorce, one thing is certain: the journey is a complicated emotional process, and its aftermath will inevitably take a toll on you to some degree.

Various Layers of Loss

It is natural to have limited ability to predict and look ahead at your life post-divorce. It can be very difficult to anticipate how the changes that come with the end of your marriage will make you feel or what they will look like until you are actually facing them head-on. While not everyone experiences a negative, turbulent divorce, even those who undergo a mutual, peaceful split still come face-to-face with forms of grief they may have not considered in the early stages of the separation. You may underestimate the magnitude of the following losses after your divorce because you simply cannot fully prepare for the results:

1. Loss of mutual friends and shared social structures - Changes in your social circles and within your immediate and extended family may begin to happen even before your divorce is finalized. Mutual friends of you and your spouse, as well as close family members, often feel they must take sides or stay out of your business, which can sometimes lead to the complete severing of a relationship you once valued. This can be especially devastating if you have worked hard to cultivate special friendships over a long period of time. One way to address this is to talk to your shared friends during the divorce process, and if possible, discuss the topic with your spouse, so you can all work together to create a game plan that allows everyone to remain involved without animosity or awkwardness moving forward.

   ...

If you are a grandparent seeking visitation rights with your grandchild, it is important to know that there is a very specific set of circumstances that must be met to qualify for grandparents’ visitation rights. Even if such factors are met in your case, the court will also consider a variety of other aspects in its determination of whether denying visitation with you will negatively affect the child. Similar to child custody cases, you as a grandparent must prove that visitation with your grandchild is in that child’s “best interests.” Below are a few ways that you can show the value of that relationship.   

Ways to Prove Grandparent Visitation Is Beneficial

Some grandparent visitation cases are quite straightforward, with one or both of the biological parents clearly not able to adequately care for their children after a divorce. However, many grandparent visitation cases are much more subtle and difficult to argue, and they can be even more difficult to judge. Ultimately, there are a few general aspects that can strengthen your case as a grandparent pursuing visitation rights, such as:

With almost half of all marriages ending in divorce, literally thousands of kids in the United States weather the fracturing of their family each year. Parents often head into their divorce with trepidation and worry, fearing the absolute worst. After all, there are so many studies and countless experts who say divorce can have a significant impact on a child’s life. However, the end of a marriage does not have to derail your kid’s childhood. It is completely possible for you and your child to make it through a divorce happy and healthy. First, you have to dispel the myths relating to how divorce affects kids. Then, you have to create a plan for handling the process. Last, you should find a skilled divorce attorney who understands the technical legalities and who can protect your child’s best interests in a court of law. Take into account the following myths as you move forward with the divorce process:

1. Toddlers Suffer Less Trauma Than Pre-Teens and Teens

People often assume that trauma is less likely to occur in toddlers, because they are not able to form adequate memories. However, science shows that being exposed to conflict during their upbringing can have devastating effects on a child’s development. To be clear, it is not the divorce that causes issues. Instead, it is the fighting and arguing in the marriage. Therefore, if your child is young, and you are divorcing, you will want to work hard to keep things as amicable as possible for the sake of your little one.