Similar to other kinds of losses, a divorce never looks or feels exactly the same for every person. We all grieve and process that grief differently, and because the divorce experience can vary in complexity depending on the circumstances of a given relationship, the journey can be especially unique and challenging to navigate. Emotional setbacks throughout a divorce are common and to be expected, regardless of your circumstances. The key to having victory over those setbacks and keeping them from controlling you begins with having coping strategies in your arsenal when times get tough.
Thankfully, there have been countless studies on the psychological ramifications of divorce and the most effective ways to manage the stress, disappointment, and setbacks they entail. Psychologists recommend the following to heal, stay positive, and move forward, despite the emotional roadblocks you may experience along the way:
Stop Beating Yourself Up - Whether you lose your temper in front of your children, snap at your ex-spouse, or are struggling with a depressed mood, it is important to be patient with yourself and remember that you will have good days and bad days as you adjust to the effects of divorce. Make self-care a priority: Eat well, get enough sleep, and exercise daily. Avoid ruminating on your mistakes, which hold you hostage in the past. If you are stuck in a negative thought cycle where you are continually punishing yourself, speak with a counselor or other mental health professional who can help equip you with the tools you need to break this counterproductive pattern of thinking.
Rekindle or Create - When you experience an emotional setback during the divorce process, one of the best ways to combat feelings of helplessness is to make a list of activities you used to enjoy, maybe even before you were ever married, and to engage in those activities. It is also helpful to create a list of new activities, hobbies, or goals to invest yourself in, as this can help you take back power over your life while simultaneously helping you reinvent and redefine yourself.
Draw on Support - In addition to mental health professionals, cultivating a regular community network for support is critical, especially when you feel like you have taken ten steps back during your divorce. Draw on family, friends, neighbors, co-workers, and others in your community, such as acquaintances from your local church or support groups to turn to when you are struggling. Support is about more than just finding someone to talk to; people can support you by assisting with errands, providing financial or informative resources, or simply joining you for a walk around the neighborhood to get some exercise and fresh air.
Learning to cope and understand how and when to give yourself a break when facing the end of a marriage is never an easy task. But, with time, patience, and the practice of self-care, you can heal and move forward. Reach out to a knowledgeable, dedicated Naperville divorce attorney so they can handle the legal aspects of your divorce while you work to take care of yourself and your family. Call our competent, seasoned team at Mevorah & Giglio Law Offices today at 630-755-6426 and schedule your personal consultation.
Sources:
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/tech-support/201608/5-steps-reclaim-your-life-after-bad-divorce
https://www.apa.org/topics/healthy-divorce
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