Domestic violence often starts with one simple, usually lesser, offense, and builds. It is very rare that an abuser will be a one-time offender and if they find someone who does not stand up to them, they will continue to beat that same person over and over again.
Domestic violence typically begins either sexually or physically for a large number of reasons, but once it begins, the violence will cycle through all types because it gives the abuser a sense of power and control, according to DomesticViolence.org.
The different types of abuse that abusers cycle through with their victims include:
Using Male Privilege: Husbands and boyfriends may begin to take control of the relationship by treating the wife or girlfriend as a servant, not including her in any big decisions and making a clear definition of his and her roles.
Using Economic Abuse: The man may do whatever he has to to keep the woman in the relationship from keeping a job and having total control of their money.
Using Coercion and Threats: The abuser begins to physically abuse the victim after threats, he may also threaten to commit suicide or leave her, force her to break the law and threaten her if she does not drop any charges that she may try to file against him.
Using Intimidation: The man in the relationship scares the woman into submission by breaking property, displaying weapons to her and abusing pets.
Using Emotional Abuse: The abuser makes the victim feel badly about herself by calling her names, making her feel guilty about things like how she behaves in the relationship, playing mind games and humiliating her.
Using Isolation: The abuser often controls what the victim does, including where she goes, what she reads and who she is allowed to see, he insures that her involvement outside of their home is limited and he will justify his actions with jealousy.
Minimizing, Denying and Blaming: The abuser blames the victim for his abuse, speaks of it lightly, as if it isn’t as bad as it is and completely denying that the abuse ever happened.
Using Children: The abuser gets total compliance of the woman by threatening to take the children away from her, he may use the children to relay messages to her, he may make her feel guilty about how she takes care of the children and he may even use visitation, if they are divorced, as a means to harass her.
Domestic abusers may start their abuse with any of these stages, but will eventually cycle through most, if not all, of them.
If you have started to notice that you’re significant other is acting like any of these descriptions, it is important to get out of the relationship before the abuse goes too far. Contact a family law attorney for assistance. Attorneys at the Mevorah Law Offices LLC in Lombard, Bloomingdale, Rockford, Naperville and St. Charles, Ill. can help you get a safe divorce from an abusive spouse or get an order of protection from an abusive boyfriend or girlfriend now.
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