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900 E. Roosevelt Road, Lombard, IL 60148

Phone: 630-932-9100

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134 N. Bloomingdale Road, Bloomingdale, IL 60108

Phone: 630-529-4761

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Phone: 630-420-1000
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Posted on in Family Law

Naperville parenting time attorney

With almost half of all marriages ending in divorce, literally thousands of kids in the United States weather the fracturing of their family each year. Parents often head into their divorce with trepidation and worry, fearing the absolute worst. After all, there are so many studies and countless experts who say divorce can have a significant impact on a child’s life. However, the end of a marriage does not have to derail your kid’s childhood. It is completely possible for you and your child to make it through a divorce happy and healthy. First, you have to dispel the myths relating to how divorce affects kids. Then, you have to create a plan for handling the process. Last, you should find a skilled divorce attorney who understands the technical legalities and who can protect your child’s best interests in a court of law. Take into account the following myths as you move forward with the divorce process:

1. Toddlers Suffer Less Trauma Than Pre-Teens and Teens

People often assume that trauma is less likely to occur in toddlers, because they are not able to form adequate memories. However, science shows that being exposed to conflict during their upbringing can have devastating effects on a child’s development. To be clear, it is not the divorce that causes issues. Instead, it is the fighting and arguing in the marriage. Therefore, if your child is young, and you are divorcing, you will want to work hard to keep things as amicable as possible for the sake of your little one. 

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DuPage County Amicable Divorce LawyerA study conducted by the National Survey of Family Growth reported that 48 percent of marriages dissolve by the 20-year milestone, and 20 percent of first marriages dissolve within five years after the wedding day. Although these kinds of statistics are grim, divorce does not have to be emotionally devastating. In fact, many couples manage to separate in a healthy way. If you and your spouse are seeking an amicable divorce, the following tips can help throughout the process:  

1. Focus on Communication and Collaboration

Many couples struggle throughout the divorce process, because they cannot put their emotions aside for an extended period of time. You have a better chance of avoiding this issue when you take a proactive approach. The best course of action is to be prepared for the inevitable waves of emotion that can surface from the situation. Whenever you are caught in the heat of the moment and feel the urge to lash out, or if you are resistant to suggestions made by your spouse because you want to “win” the case, remind yourself that fighting only delays the process for everyone. Collaboration and effective communication can help facilitate a smoother separation and can reduce the overall amount of time you spend in the legal process.

2. Safeguard the Interests of Your Children

If you share children with your spouse, it is important that you both work to protect their best interests. Stay involved in your children’s lives, give them time and space to express their emotions, and above all, never get in the way of their relationship with your ex-spouse. Your children need and deserve the love of both their parents, especially in the midst of a divorce.

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Naperville parenting time lawyer

For many spouses, the thought of a peaceful divorce is a definite oxymoron. With so many factors contributing to the conflicts that often plague the divorce process, it may seem almost impossible to imagine a marriage ending on friendly terms. Sensitive issues such as the division of debts, spousal support, and parenting time have the power to amplify emotions and create overwhelming tension in the midst of a separation. Working through these issues can be extremely challenging and painful, especially when interactions between parties are hostile. However, psychology experts tell us that a peaceful divorce is not a myth. Despite the fact that every divorce involves some level of loss, sadness, and hurt, it is possible to make it through the experience tranquilly and civilly.

How to Keep the Peace

Here are some suggestions for a smoother divorce experience:

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DuPage County divorce lawyersIf you anticipate that your divorce will be both complicated and contentious — perhaps due to parenting style differences, children with special needs, or substantial income and assets to be divided — consider which of these two options sounds better:

You and your spouse each choose an aggressive lawyer who will fight out your issues in one-to-one negotiation or in court, if necessary. Consider which of you has more money to spend and is more likely to drag out the legal process out of spite.

You and your spouse agree to resolve your divorce without going to court, working cooperatively with a team of professionals who will provide a neutral perspective and recommendations on both financial and parenting issues with a focus on the best interests of your family as a whole.

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DuPage County divorce lawyersMarriages may sometimes end in divorce, and when they do, there are many adjustments to make for life after marriage. These adjustments often include your children and determining how to handle their lives after the marriage has ended, but before that process can start, you first need to tell them that you and their other parent are divorcing.

Letting your children know about an upcoming divorce is most likely going to be difficult. Children will have different reactions and many questions, so you need to be prepared when you tell them what is about to happen.

Tell Everyone Together First

If you have multiple children, you may want to tell each child individually to avoid a scene, or because you do not want to make it seem important. However, it is important, and studies have shown that it is a better idea to tell all the children at once. They will all be able to hear your answers and start to process the news with their siblings. If you feel one of your children will have too strong of a reaction, it may be beneficial to tell them individually. You can always follow up with the children individually, after you have told them together, to see how they are handling the news.

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Whether you are going through a divorce, injured in an accident, need to file a workers' compensation claim, charged with a crime, immigrating to the United States, or need to file for bankruptcy, Mevorah Law Offices LLC can help. Our trial lawyers have over 40 years of experience helping clients throughout Northern Illinois from four offices in Lombard, Bloomindale, Naperville, St. Charles, and Chicago.

Steven Mevorah has assembled experienced attorneys under one roof so that his clients need not search for a new attorney each time they need help. Mr. Mevorah has also established a wide network of additional attorneys so that his clients merely need to stop by Mevorah Law Offices LLC to find the attorney they need.

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