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630-932-9100
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DuPage County Attorneys

LOMBARD

900 E. Roosevelt Road, Lombard, IL 60148

Phone: 630-932-9100

BLOOMINGDALE

134 N. Bloomingdale Road, Bloomingdale, IL 60108

Phone: 630-529-4761

CHICAGO

105 W. Madison Street, Suite 2200, Chicago, IL 60602

Phone: 630-932-9100

NAPERVILLE

1730 Park Street, Suite 202, Naperville, IL 60563

Phone: 630-420-1000
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DuPage County child custody attorney

The American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry (AACAP) reports that one out of every two marriages ends in divorce. Married couples hear these kinds of statistics often, but the challenges for divorcing parents do not truly become a reality until their marriage becomes a part of this statistic. For parents experiencing a high-conflict divorce, these challenges can be detrimental to the whole family, especially to the children.

How to Help Your Children During Divorce

The very nature of divorce makes the process difficult for everyone involved. Even the most amicable, peaceful separations can dig up many mixed emotions for the family. Much like other losses in life, divorce grief usually unravels in layers over time. Just when you think you may be out of the woods and on the road to healing, a simple memory or argument can trigger an emotional setback. Children who witness episodes of high conflict between their parents during their separation tend to suffer the most, but there are steps parents can take to lessen these negative effects, including:

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Naperville parenting time attorney

With almost half of all marriages ending in divorce, literally thousands of kids in the United States weather the fracturing of their family each year. Parents often head into their divorce with trepidation and worry, fearing the absolute worst. After all, there are so many studies and countless experts who say divorce can have a significant impact on a child’s life. However, the end of a marriage does not have to derail your kid’s childhood. It is completely possible for you and your child to make it through a divorce happy and healthy. First, you have to dispel the myths relating to how divorce affects kids. Then, you have to create a plan for handling the process. Last, you should find a skilled divorce attorney who understands the technical legalities and who can protect your child’s best interests in a court of law. Take into account the following myths as you move forward with the divorce process:

1. Toddlers Suffer Less Trauma Than Pre-Teens and Teens

People often assume that trauma is less likely to occur in toddlers, because they are not able to form adequate memories. However, science shows that being exposed to conflict during their upbringing can have devastating effects on a child’s development. To be clear, it is not the divorce that causes issues. Instead, it is the fighting and arguing in the marriage. Therefore, if your child is young, and you are divorcing, you will want to work hard to keep things as amicable as possible for the sake of your little one. 

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DuPage County Family Law and Divorce AttorneyParental guilt is exceedingly common among parents who get divorced, as many moms and dads struggle to overcome the feelings of remorse as they worry whether the choices they have made are what is best their child. Unfortunately, parents who succumb to such guilt can contribute to the manifestation of behavioral issues in their child, perhaps to the point where the child feels the need to comfort the parent. As a result, children in this type of situation may suffer from maladjustment during their developmental years. Thankfully, with an understanding of why parental guilt should be put into perspective, you may be able to avoid these issues and help your child get through the divorce process. Here are some tips that can help protect your child from the effects of divorce-related guilt:

  • Be honest - Your kids can tell that you feel bad about the divorce, but voicing your emotions out loud can put them in a difficult position where they may feel the need to protect your feelings. You will want to be thoughtful about how you word things. Do not apologize for splitting up with your spouse when you know it is the best option for your family. Instead, apologize for the pain that it is causing your child. This approach lets them know that their hurt is your hurt, and it encourages them to accept the changes for what they are.

  • Learn to manage difficult emotions - Grief, anxiety, and depression can become addicting. As strange as that sounds, the truth is that when you spend a long time being upset, you can actually begin to feel guilt about potential happiness. That feeling is often intensified if your child is in pain. However, your child is more likely to move forward and heal if they see that you are starting to seem happy. Even if you feel guilty or sad about your divorce, it is important to find ways to enjoy your new life.

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Naperville family law and divorce attorney

It has been said that nothing is certain but death and taxes; this rather sardonic depiction of life is credited to one of our founding fathers, Benjamin Franklin. What is also almost as certain is if you find yourself in a legal jam, you need a lawyer. It is important to know that all lawyers are not the same, and this is true even for those who limit their practice to areas such as divorce and family law. Statistics show that over 22 percent of first marriages end up in divorce in less than five years, and 53 percent of them dissolve by the 20-year mark. If you and your spouse are contemplating divorce, you need to do some homework and make sure the lawyer you hire is the best to handle your legal situation and offer dependable legal counsel.

Personalized Service

Going through a divorce can be difficult and emotionally draining. If there are children involved, then it can be even more painful. In these cases, you need to hire a lawyer who not only has experience handling divorce cases but one who is also empathetic.

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DuPage County divorce lawyersMarriages may sometimes end in divorce, and when they do, there are many adjustments to make for life after marriage. These adjustments often include your children and determining how to handle their lives after the marriage has ended, but before that process can start, you first need to tell them that you and their other parent are divorcing.

Letting your children know about an upcoming divorce is most likely going to be difficult. Children will have different reactions and many questions, so you need to be prepared when you tell them what is about to happen.

Tell Everyone Together First

If you have multiple children, you may want to tell each child individually to avoid a scene, or because you do not want to make it seem important. However, it is important, and studies have shown that it is a better idea to tell all the children at once. They will all be able to hear your answers and start to process the news with their siblings. If you feel one of your children will have too strong of a reaction, it may be beneficial to tell them individually. You can always follow up with the children individually, after you have told them together, to see how they are handling the news.

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Whether you are going through a divorce, injured in an accident, need to file a workers' compensation claim, charged with a crime, immigrating to the United States, or need to file for bankruptcy, Mevorah Law Offices LLC can help. Our trial lawyers have over 40 years of experience helping clients throughout Northern Illinois from four offices in Lombard, Bloomindale, Naperville, St. Charles, and Chicago.

Steven Mevorah has assembled experienced attorneys under one roof so that his clients need not search for a new attorney each time they need help. Mr. Mevorah has also established a wide network of additional attorneys so that his clients merely need to stop by Mevorah Law Offices LLC to find the attorney they need.

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Our practice is focused on meeting your needs with flexible hours and locations to serve you:

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