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DuPage County Attorneys

LOMBARD

900 E. Roosevelt Road, Lombard, IL 60148

Phone: 630-932-9100

BLOOMINGDALE

134 N. Bloomingdale Road, Bloomingdale, IL 60108

Phone: 630-529-4761

CHICAGO

105 W. Madison Street, Suite 2200, Chicago, IL 60602

Phone: 630-932-9100

NAPERVILLE

1730 Park Street, Suite 202, Naperville, IL 60563

Phone: 630-420-1000
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Naperville high conflict divorce lawyerWhile it is true that the effects of divorce vary from person to person and family to family, psychology experts reveal that certain circumstances, such as the environment created by a contentious divorce, can be particularly detrimental. This is especially true for children, and high levels of conflict between parents can affect their development. Having a positive co-parenting strategy in place as you move throughout the divorce process can make a big difference when it comes to your child’s mental health. However, for many couples, it is not always easy to enforce such a plan when the relationship is a contentious one.

Negative Effects of Divorce on Kids and What You Can Do to Help

It can be difficult for parents to face the reality of the negative impact of divorce on their kids, but the good news is that studies show that healthy co-parenting cannot only help your kids, but it can help you too. When parents attempt to collaborate peacefully during their divorce, this will lessen their child’s distress, and it can reduce stress for parents as well. Here are some major ways that a high-conflict divorce can impact your child and what you can do to ease the burden:

  1. Unhealthy Coping Strategies - Many children of contentious divorces are more prone to anxiety disorders and depression, and these issues commonly lead to an array of unhealthy coping strategies, such as substance abuse. Unhealthy coping skills can continue to be a crutch when a child reaches adulthood, especially if your child is not familiar with healthy coping mechanisms. Experts tell us that even if the other parent is not making an effort to reduce conflict in the divorce, efforts by one parent are still helpful for the child. If you are unable to show your kids healthy ways to cope with their emotions during your divorce, you can provide other means of support for them, such as meeting regularly with a therapist.
  2. Relationship Troubles - Children who witness high-conflict divorces often end up having strained relationships with both parents, and this can sometimes spill over into their other personal relationships, including those with friends or extended family members. Children may avoid social contact, lash out, or mimic their parents’ behavior, including displays of anger and frustration. Limiting how often you allow your child to be present when you interact with your spouse can be helpful, and encouraging your child to communicate with you about how they are feeling is also important. Finally, do not forget to show them your full attention, and be sure to listen when they want to talk.
  3. Delays in Emotional Development - Pent up emotions, along with the trauma that can occur when children see their parents frequently arguing, can cause long-term difficulties with emotional development. These delayed adjustments may follow your child as they get older and affect their adult relationships as well. They may experience difficulty concentrating, academic problems, and intimacy issues, and they may have trouble adjusting to new relationships or maintaining healthy boundaries. To combat these issues and help your child adjust during divorce, avoid speaking poorly about the other parent in front of them, and do not make them feel as if they must pick a side. Avoid doing anything that puts them in the middle of conflict between parents, such as asking them to send messages to their other parent.

Contact Our St. Charles Divorce Attorneys

Being civil with your spouse while going through a divorce may feel impossible at times, but it is worth making the effort for everyone involved. If you are unable to communicate peacefully despite your best efforts, a knowledgeable Bloomingdale divorce attorney can offer the professional guidance and advice you need to move forward and ensure your rights are protected throughout the process. Speak with our dedicated team at Mevorah Law Offices LLC by calling 630-755-6426 and scheduling a free, personal consultation today.

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Bloomingdale divorce attorney coronavirus

Amid the coronavirus crisis and the many stay-at-home orders in effect across the country, families everywhere have been struggling with stress at home on unprecedented levels. Time magazine reports that other countries, such as China, have seen a major spike in divorce filings now that people are able to go out and about again, and in many places, domestic violence has been on the rise for those who are still stuck at home. This is all very grim news, but experts have pointed out some key observations about these troubling trends, and this may offer some insight and help for those currently struggling in their own marriages as the pandemic continues.

Factors Currently Contributing to Marriage and Family Stress at Home

The reported surge of divorce filings in China following recent stay-at-home orders suggests that couples who were already experiencing tension and potential separation likely felt an even greater strain once confined to the home together for an extended period of time. The same circumstances are undoubtedly arising right here in Illinois and across the United States. Experts highlight the fact that not only are families currently experiencing major financial stress due to job loss, they are also limited in living space and in alone time. This is especially true for those who share children and are now forced to manage and cope with the kids being home every day, around the clock. Additionally, there is anxiety circulating throughout the home about family members getting sick, when normal routines will resume, and a general sense of uncertainty about the future.

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Naperville parenting time attorney

With almost half of all marriages ending in divorce, literally thousands of kids in the United States weather the fracturing of their family each year. Parents often head into their divorce with trepidation and worry, fearing the absolute worst. After all, there are so many studies and countless experts who say divorce can have a significant impact on a child’s life. However, the end of a marriage does not have to derail your kid’s childhood. It is completely possible for you and your child to make it through a divorce happy and healthy. First, you have to dispel the myths relating to how divorce affects kids. Then, you have to create a plan for handling the process. Last, you should find a skilled divorce attorney who understands the technical legalities and who can protect your child’s best interests in a court of law. Take into account the following myths as you move forward with the divorce process:

1. Toddlers Suffer Less Trauma Than Pre-Teens and Teens

People often assume that trauma is less likely to occur in toddlers, because they are not able to form adequate memories. However, science shows that being exposed to conflict during their upbringing can have devastating effects on a child’s development. To be clear, it is not the divorce that causes issues. Instead, it is the fighting and arguing in the marriage. Therefore, if your child is young, and you are divorcing, you will want to work hard to keep things as amicable as possible for the sake of your little one. 

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Bloomingdale alternative dispute resolution attorneyJust as every relationship and marriage is unique, so too is every divorce. While some couples may choose to split amicably, with almost no signs of contention, others may struggle with hostility, arguments, and conflict. In some cases, people may be floored by the vengeful nature of their soon to be ex-spouse. Thankfully, there is a solution for every situation, and it is important to understand which divorce option may be best for you.

Mediation Versus Litigation

There are two basic ways to handle a divorce: mediation or litigation. Mediation (a common form of alternative dispute resolution) is a process in which the parties attempt to come to an agreement regarding the details of their divorce. A third-party mediator will work as a non-biased facilitator who will not make decisions for the spouses, but who will guide them toward reaching a compromise on any outstanding legal issues they need to address. While a mediator may help the parties understand how the law applies to their situation, they will typically not offer legal advice. For this reason, even when using mediation, you should hire your own divorce attorney who can explain your rights and ensure that your divorce settlement will meet your needs.

Litigation is the more “traditional” divorce route, as it involves the parties going to court and pleading their case before a judge. Both sides will have a chance to argue for why their wishes should be followed regarding issues such as property division or child custody. The judge will then make a ruling, determining how to resolve financial issues in a fair and equitable manner and deciding child-related issues based on what is in children's best interests. Whatever the decision may be, each party must abide by the ruling. Either party may file an appeal if they believe that errors were made during the divorce trial that resulted in an unjust judgment.

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Naperville divorce mediation attorneyPredicting the types of conflicts you may experience throughout your divorce process can be difficult, if not impossible. Sometimes, you do not know trouble is brewing until a particular issue is discussed and suddenly spawns an argument that seems unmanageable. Many couples experience nothing but smooth sailing during the first stages of divorce, only to find later that buried tensions have morphed into a series of toxic interactions. Whether you have been fortunate enough to have an amicable separation thus far or are dealing with a contentious divorce, exploring mediation as a tool to help achieve a peaceful dissolution of marriage can be beneficial for both parties. 

Conflicts That Can Be Better Resolved With Mediation 

Divorce stirs up an array of emotions for everyone involved, often triggering irrational exchanges and heated responses between both parties. If tension starts to build or conversations cannot be conducted civilly, mediation may be the best resolution. Utilizing a trained professional to negotiate the terms of your divorce can help reduce stress, allowing you to reach an agreement that both parties can be satisfied with. Some common points of dispute that can be resolved with the help of a mediator include:

  • Parenting plan disagreements - The purpose of a parenting plan in the state of Illinois is to allocate specific parental responsibilities to each parent, so that both parties have a clear understanding of their role in the child’s life. Although a parenting plan serves to protect the best interests of the child, creating one can be tricky. Disagreements about important issues, such as parenting time (visitation), education, healthcare, and religious beliefs, can be resolved through mediation.

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Whether you are going through a divorce, injured in an accident, need to file a workers' compensation claim, charged with a crime, immigrating to the United States, or need to file for bankruptcy, Mevorah Law Offices LLC can help. Our trial lawyers have over 40 years of experience helping clients throughout Northern Illinois from four offices in Lombard, Bloomindale, Naperville, St. Charles, and Chicago.

Steven Mevorah has assembled experienced attorneys under one roof so that his clients need not search for a new attorney each time they need help. Mr. Mevorah has also established a wide network of additional attorneys so that his clients merely need to stop by Mevorah Law Offices LLC to find the attorney they need.

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