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DuPage County Attorneys

LOMBARD

900 E. Roosevelt Road, Lombard, IL 60148

Phone: 630-932-9100

BLOOMINGDALE

134 N. Bloomingdale Road, Bloomingdale, IL 60108

Phone: 630-529-4761

ST. CHARLES

333 N. Randall Road, Suite 104, St. Charles, IL 60175

Phone: 630-443-0600

CHICAGO

105 W. Madison Street, Suite 2200, Chicago, IL 60602

Phone: 630-932-9100

NAPERVILLE

1730 Park Street, Suite 202, Naperville, IL 60563

Phone: 630-420-1000
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DuPage County parenting plan lawyer

The emotional upheaval brought on by divorce in the family can be exhausting and intense. It can take a significant amount of time for everyone to process the event, regardless of how amicable the decision to separate may have been. The end of a marriage is particularly difficult for any children involved, as they are suddenly confronted with not only the reality that their family is changing, but also the realization that they must accept and adjust to new routines and essentially a different way of life. The result of such a big transition is a lot for children of any age, and emotional distress is both natural and inevitable. Just as adults process loss in their own way and in their own time, so too do children of divorce.

Providing Emotional Support for Your Children 

It is common for parents in the midst of divorce proceedings to struggle to find the energy to extend to their child, who also needs comfort and support during such a trying time. Practicing basic self-care during the transition is critical, so you are able to recharge and be emotionally available for them. However, even under strained circumstances, there are many strategies and attitudes you can adopt that can help lighten your child’s burden, make them feel safe and loved, and maybe even lift their spirits. Here are four ways every parent can reduce the stress of divorce for their child:

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Naperville family law attorneyAfter a divorce is made final, and sometimes even before that, an Illinois family court will enter an order regarding the allocation of parental responsibilities. This order controls how parental responsibilities are shared between the divorcing couple. One of these responsibilities is time shared with a child.

Determining Parenting Time

If a divorcing couple has not agreed on a parenting schedule, the court will determine how and when visitation will take place in the best interest of the child. The court will do so relying on expert opinions and considering several factors, including the following:

  • Each parent’s wishes;
  • Wishes of the child;
  • School and extracurricular needs of the child;
  • Distance between the parents; and
  • Work schedules for the parents.

Exchanging Children for Parenting Time

In situations where the divorce is amicable and the divorced parents get along well, handing over or picking up a child during parental time is done seamlessly with the parents agreeing how it will be done each time. If such is not the case and the parents have to follow a court ordered schedule, then the visitation exchange is often done curbside, meaning right outside the receiving parent’s residence. If the relationship between the parents is poor, a court may order drop-offs and pickups to take place at some other location, such as a school, shopping area, park, or gas station to minimize the likelihood of a problem.

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Sticking to a consistent parenting time schedule may take a lot of effort on your part, but experts agree that having a predictable routine helps children feel more secure and confident. At some point, however, almost every child will put up a fuss when they have to pack up and shift to their other parent’s home. It is natural for a parent to feel conflicted in this situation. On one hand, you hate to do anything that creates undue stress for your child. On the other hand, if you do not comply with your parenting time order, you could be penalized by the court.

So, what should you do if your child strongly objects to going with their other parent when the parenting time schedule calls for it? There are several factors to consider, including the law, the age of the child and the behavior of the co-parent.

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Bloomingdale Parenting Plan AttorneyIf you have young children and are divorcing a spouse who abuses drugs or alcohol, Illinois law provides a process for restricting an individual’s parenting time and parental responsibilities. Illinois law 750 ILCS 5/603.10 calls for a court hearing at which attorneys from both sides may present evidence. 

In preparation for this hearing, you want to work with a skilled family lawyer to compile as much documentation as possible. Write down everything you remember about specific incidents that demonstrate your spouse’s issues. You may ask friends and family to write down their recollections of specific instances as well. If your spouse has ever been arrested for DUI, drug possession, or disorderly conduct, those police reports can be used to prove your case. Medical records showing stints in rehab or even bank records displaying frequent liquor store purchases could be helpful as well.

Illinois Court Orders to Protect Children 

If the court finds your spouse has “engaged in any conduct that seriously endangered the child’s mental, moral, or physical health or that significantly impaired the child’s emotional development,” the court may issue one or more orders that the judge deems necessary. In particular, the court will consider whether a parent has used “drugs, alcohol, or any other substance in a way that interferes with the parent’s ability to perform caretaking functions.”

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IL divorce lawyerIf you are a single parent, you may find time management challenging. Fortunately, we have compiled this handy list of time management skills to help you save time and stress as you follow your parenting plan and try to juggle your other duties.

1. Do Not Be a Perfectionist

You should accept the fact that there is no such thing as a perfect parent. By trying to be perfect, you can add more stress to your life. Rather than being a perfectionist, strive to be good enough. If you forget to do something or are unable to complete a task, tell yourself it is okay and move on.

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Whether you are going through a divorce, injured in an accident, need to file a workers' compensation claim, charged with a crime, immigrating to the United States, or need to file for bankruptcy, Mevorah Law Offices LLC can help. Our trial lawyers have over 40 years of experience helping clients throughout Northern Illinois from five offices in Lombard, Bloomindale, Naperville, St. Charles, and Chicago.

Steven Mevorah has assembled experienced attorneys under one roof so that his clients need not search for a new attorney each time they need help. Mr. Mevorah has also established a wide network of additional attorneys so that his clients merely need to stop by Mevorah Law Offices LLC to find the attorney they need.

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