Marriages may sometimes end in divorce, and when they do, there are many adjustments to make for life after marriage. These adjustments often include your children and determining how to handle their lives after the marriage has ended, but before that process can start, you first need to tell them that you and their other parent are divorcing.
Letting your children know about an upcoming divorce is most likely going to be difficult. Children will have different reactions and many questions, so you need to be prepared when you tell them what is about to happen.
If you have multiple children, you may want to tell each child individually to avoid a scene, or because you do not want to make it seem important. However, it is important, and studies have shown that it is a better idea to tell all the children at once. They will all be able to hear your answers and start to process the news with their siblings. If you feel one of your children will have too strong of a reaction, it may be beneficial to tell them individually. You can always follow up with the children individually, after you have told them together, to see how they are handling the news.
Before you actually tell the children about the divorce, it will be helpful to write down some thoughts and explanations to refer to during the discussion. Planning what you will say will ensure that you cover everything you think would be beneficial or important to have the children hear you and your spouse discuss.
Even if you and your spouse are not in a place where you feel you can be in the same room as them, you both need to try to determine some way to put aside your differences for the good of the children and tell them about the divorce together. It will be better for the children if the divorce is presented as a joint decision, as much as possible, and to not point fingers or seem bitter towards your spouse. Being united will also give your children more confidence that you can still parent them, as a team, and with as little disruption as possible.
The caring and persistent attorneys at Mevorah Law Offices, LLC. will do our best to give you the outcome you wish for in your divorce. Our DuPage County family law attorneys will regularly give you updates on the status of your case and work to make sure you are properly informed. Contact us if you would like to set up a free consultation at 630-932-9100.
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